


it's not science if you don't write it down.

by RagnaRoxy



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Birth, Consentacles, F/F, Other, Oviposition, Plant sex, Science, Sex Pollen, This is gonna get weird, its about why not, smut isnt about why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:53:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagnaRoxy/pseuds/RagnaRoxy
Summary: AO3 needs more harley/ivy plant fuckin' weirdness, so Ivy asks Harley to participate in her latest botanical project.





	it's not science if you don't write it down.

Harley always enjoyed spending time in Ivy's conservatory, especially in the colder months, where a skintight jumpsuit didn't do much to help against the elements. she idly petted the leaves or flowers of each plant she passed, smiling when some of them leaned into her touch. they were so much like Bob and Lou, same love for chin scratches and eating their foes' entrails. she was baby talking a particularly affectionate pitcher plant when she heard Pamela's voice from around the corner.  
"Over here, sweetheart!" she almost sang from a fairly rugged-looking worktable. her smile blossomed into a grin when she saw the other doctor round the corner.  
"Heya, Red, whatcha workin' on today?" the blonde nearly bounced the last few steps over to her partner in crime, giving her a cheerful peck on the lips. Ivy handed her a small vial from the table and motioned her to follow.   
"something big. between selective breeding, applying mutagen samples, DNA analysis and a bit of luck, I've found another way to make my darlings more dangerous. full autonomous mobility." she reached out to pet the various leaves and blossoms that she passed, Harley doing the same with whatever plant that didnt have obvious teeth. "basically, it can take on the shape of any living animal, more or less. humanoid, quadruped, aquatic, they need to take samples from a living host before fully imprinting, though.  
"aw neat! how do they do that? take a big ol' chomp outta ya?" she held her hands up in front of her face, mimicking the larger, toothier, specimens Ivy was known to command.  
"well, that was one of the options I was thinking of, but it still used too much energy for the initial imprinting. I finally decided on passive luring and incubation instead of active hunting and consumption." as if on cue, she swept aside a curtain of leaves to reveal an impressively large flower bud, surrounded by a lush carpet of moss in a raised bed. "want to help with some science?"  
Harley's face lit up with the kind of enthusiasm usually only reserved for property destruction. "Do I ever! where's the clipboards? what are we doing? do I need goggles?" her stream of excited questions were cut off by a gentle peck on her lips, and a small vial of liquid pressed into her hand.  
"you'll want to drink that first, while I've worked out some of the rougher patches, that'll help with any...unexpected difficulties."  
"wellp, down the hatch then! So c'mon, what are we doing? how does it involve short, bright, and bloomy over there?" she motioned to the washing-machine sized flower, which remained resolutely closed. "cuz I....wait a minute. incubation? Red, you didn't...." she gave Ivy a sly look, letting the rest of her sentence hang in the air with the sweltering humidity.  
"you have agility, strength, flexibility," she raised her eyebrows at the last descriptor. "more than enough of the qualities I'd love my darlings to have. you'll enjoy the process, I promise. but if you don't want to, I can find other test subjects if you want to stand by and take notes with me..."  
Harley could feel a blush creeping up across her body. whether it was the unidentified serum she just drank or the idea of what might happen next, she wasn't sure. her expression softened for a moment before she looked back into her lovers' eyes. "I trust you. let's do some science."  
her shirt and black jeans were quickly discarded as Pamela led her by the hand to kneel in front of the flower. from a distance it looked a uniform red, but upon closer inspection, it went from a pale blush at the base to a deep crimson around the petal edges. it almost seemed to glow in the subdued greenhouse lighting, and as she reached out a hand to trace over the tightly shut petals, she was surprised to find how soft they were.  
"Go ahead, it won't bite." Harley wasn't sure whether Ivy's reassurance was to her or the flower, but she moved forward anyway. she nuzzled up the edge of the largest petal, ending with a gentle lick. it tasted faintly sweet, like a long-lost memory of a candy once enjoyed and forgotten. she nearly purred at its scent, once weak, but growing more potent as she inhaled more of it. spicy, floral, comforting in its odd familiarity.  
Pamela had taken out a tablet from her coat and was busy tapping away in the meantime. "How are you feeling so far?"  
"Doin' all right, but do I have to say a magic word or somethin' to make this guy open up?"   
almost as if on cue, the blossom began to unfold, the bloom almost resembling a slow motion explosion. petal after petal lazily peeled back in a kaleidoscope of crimsons and violets before revealing multiple tightly coiled stamens at the center. each of them were crowned with similar-looking flowerlike buds, and as two of them uncoiled themselves, they each bloomed into flowers of their own, each nearly the size of her head. they slowly extended out to her, exploring this newcomer, before gently breathing a cloud of pollen at her.  
Harley pulled back out of instinct, but not before getting a good lungful of the particles. a few hearty sneezes later, she could feel the telltale warmth begin to pool between her thighs. she rolled her eyes and shot a glare back at Ivy, who had to stifle a giggle.  
"Sex pollen, really?"  
"hey, it works. makes the subject more receptive for accepting the genetic template."  
"Well, it's definitely workin', overused as it may be..." she gave a weak chuckle, her senses already starting to sink into a heady buzz. a hand wandered down the front of her quickly dampening panties, clever fingers finding her clit already wakening. her free hand moved out to caress a nearby bud, that seemed to shiver in response and push itself eagerly into her touch.  
"ooh, they like you! that's encouraging." Ivy's voice and enthusiastic tapping broke through Harley's trance, aiming her attention back at her lover. she gave her a look like Lou would give a steak and licked her lips, pulling her hand back up from between her legs to pull off her now-soaked underwear.   
another bloom took this as an invitation to explore the newly exposed skin, petals feather-light against her flesh before finding their prize. they unfurled to caress her clit in fluttering waves, stroking her in the perfect way to leave her wanting more. she rocked her hips in a wordless plea while other stems began unwinding themselves from the main flower to join in the exploration of her body. Their combined caresses and strokes teased her closer to the main bloom, its petals opened to reveal a cosy-looking place to sit in its waiting center. Harley took the invitation in a heartbeat, settling herself into the massive crimson flower amidst its serpentine attendants, who wasted no time in resuming their ministrations across her skin, slowly winding their way over her limbs to hold her.  
Her sigh of delight was punctuated by more excited tapping on the nearby tablet and Ivy's voice breaking through her reverie. "subject shows no hesitation in approaching specimen to engage in full contact and recline..." Ivy stopped, shooting an inquisitive look at her test subject. "did that just happen naturally, or did you feel compelled to engage with it further?"  
relaxed into the flower's embrace, and set on full display for her lover, Harley couldn't take her eyes of the scientist, who in turn was fidgeting a bit more than she was taking notes.  
"Just felt like a good idea at th'time, big flower blooming open, looked comfy. But don't kid yerself, sweetie, I know you wanna fuck me like this, don't you? all tied down and at your mercy?"  
"As lovely as the thought sounds right now, it would defeat the purpose of our little experiment." she chuckled. her voice dropped to a sultry purr as she pointed between Harley's legs at a large tendril uncoiling from the heart of the bloom beneath her. "but I think that one will gladly take up the offer."  
the bud at the end of "that one" was larger than the others, and the stamen itself as well, and for good reason. as it bloomed, it snaked up between Harley's thighs, the smaller flower reverently moving aside for it. the petals pulled back to reveal a thick shaft, dripping with a slick nectar and making no pretenses as to what it was for. it drew a slow, teasing line between her folds before gently sliding inside her. she moaned at the new intrusion, her mind almost smothered in a haze of lust and contentment.  
the flower withdrew itself from her slightly, then slipped back in, pulling itself into a gentle rhythm to fuck her at first. she rolled her hips in response, whining a little when one of its petals caressed her clit from time to time. the other blooms took up positions at her nipples, fluttering kisses across her body as the seduction continued. her hands wandered to feebly grab the main stamen, not in defense, but to ask for more, coaxing it to thrust a bit harder and at a different angle. it responded in kind, adding a little writhe at the end of each plunge into her snatch to rub against her. it was then that she realized it was slowly beginning to swell inside her. a bulb at the base of the shaft started to grow, pressing into her g-spot with each thrust, slowly locking itself into her deeper and deeper. the rest of the shaft expanded in kind, swelling to fit her perfectly. it was then that she felt pressure against her most intimate of vaults, deeper than she could imagine.  
slight at first, small tendrils explored her cervix, slowly opening her womb as the shaft unfolded deep inside her. swollen and locked within her, she could only feebly rock against the petals caressing her clit as she awaited the first seeds to be planted. it pulsed and shuddered again, rubbing her in the perfect way to trigger her first orgasm. a cascade of moaned profanity tumbled from her lips as her hands unclenched from the stamen to hang limply by her sides. the sweet torture wasn't over yet. a line of walnut-sized, perfectly spherical swellings began emerging from the heart of the flower, leading directly down the main stamen into her body. pain bordering on pleasure and vice versa washed over her as the first seed slipped into her, causing the whole tentacle buried in her to spasm and throb. she arched her body and cried out, riding the tenacious intrusion nearly to another orgasm. more seeds followed suit, she lost count after the fifth one hurtled down into her, causing the whole structure to pulse inside her like a living vibrator. she bucked and whimpered, feeling the initial swell of her burden press inside her. she gasped for breath, nearly delirious between the pollen, her arousal, and the initial drink she had, but fought to keep a rein on her will as Ivy's voice again cut through the haze. "this is interesting, it's only implanted two or three seeds in previous hosts, but I've counted eight so far...it must find you to be incredibly compatible..." her attention to her lover's scientific observation was abruptly cut short by another surge of pleasure crashing through her as she helplessly watched more seeds crowd into her. after what seemed like an eternity, the stamen within her stilled, finally passing its last seed. a few more seconds passed and it writhed again, slowly throbbing with a load of nectar to fill her the rest of the way. one of the other tendrils pulled itself from her shoulder to caress the gentle curve of her belly, her womb now swollen from the flowers seeds. the shaft inside her pulsed one last time, rubbing her clit to bring her to one final climax before she howled in release and nearly blacked out.

she came to still nestled in the flower's grip, Ivy standing by with a bottle of water and the ever-present tablet.  
"how are you feeling?"  
"I just got knocked up by a giant plant for science, an' I'm still horny, but all things considered, I think I'm okay."  
"good. the seeds have a fairly quick germination phase, but still need some work. you'll need to stay there for a bit, so in the meantime--" she handed the water over, which was graciously accepted and drained in a few gulps.her stomach had shrunk a little, but she could feel tiny flutters of motion inside her. sensing her awakening, the bloom still inside her writhed a bit.  
"feelin' the same way too, huh?" she grinned over her shoulder at the main flower, who only responded with another wriggle inside her. it had shrunk in girth a little to allow it to slide out of her a few inches, then thrust back in to fuck her languidly. it bumped up against her sensitive spots, pushing her into another climax quicker than she was used to. after a few more thrusts, it swelled again, pushing past her cervix to flood her with another rush of nectar, leaking out of her to run down her thighs and pool on the petals below her. "a secondary nectar inundation....huh." more meticulous note-taking and hmm-ing became a lullaby for the worn-out Harley, who very quickly nodded off again in a contented post-orgasmic haze.  
she was woken by vicious cramps and a violent spasm. she growled at the pain, feeling her body crumple on itself to try and eject the previously ignored tenants. Ivy was at her side in a heartbeat, concern on her face and tablet in hand.   
"I'm sorry sweetheart, there's going to be some pain with this step."  
"Better than havin' 'em eat their way out of me, right?" Harley quipped between ragged breaths.  
in a few moments, she was racked with a few more spasms, the stamen inside her finally shrunk back to its initial size and reverently slipped from her. one of the smaller blooms curled forward to offer another breath of pollen to help. She gasped in as much as she could, hoping that the induced arousal would take her mind off the fact she could feel something trying to work itself free of her insides. she thrashed in the flower's gentle grip, the main impregnator now reassigned to stroke her sex soothingly as she began to birth its seedlings. she gave another push and the new lives collected on the soft moss beneath her. she bucked with another growl and a curse, birthing two more as the flower began to mercilessly stroke her clit. the petals gently held her open, caressing her to distract her from the pain. her hips bucked with a mind of their own as another flood of nectar and seedlings collected under her. her world shrunk down to just the blossom still suckling at her sensitive bud and the seemingly neverending series of tiny beings passing from her womb. her belly had shrunk a bit, but it still felt inexorably full with each push. she was beyond words now, whimpering and hissing with exertion and ecstasy, but could hear murmured, almost reverent words past her thrumming pulse. looking down, she was still swollen from....something still inside her, before another more intense wave of pain and nausea rolled over her, threatening the new haze of pleasure that was humming across her nerves. the smaller blooms crowded up to press against her belly, the larger blossom spreading her petals apart even further to coax out whatever was still inside. it moved from its previous position to place itself back over her opening, but instead of penetrating her again, it gave her a few gentle sucks, like it had done to her clit before.  
"oh fuck oh fuck ohfuck ohfuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuuuuck--"  
between the pushing and the pulling and the stroking, she convulsed with another feeble climax and finally felt something larger than anything she imagined pulling free from her. she looked down, her vision blurring at the edges, to finally see her stomach had shrunk to near normal, a last flood of nectar rushing from between her thighs.  
"well, that's interesting."  
before she had a chance to ask about what gained Ivy's attention, Harley, spent in all definitions of the word, slumped back into the flower's seemingly similar tired embrace, and blissfully, mercifully, passed out.

when she came to, she was snuggled in bed with clean pajamas and a warm, green-skinned embrace.  
"good morning, my intrepid pioneer into botanical engineering."  
"I am...not awake enough for that many syllables, red. how'd everything go after I, uh, you know."  
"They're remarkable. incredibly resilient, started moving on their own almost immediately, I had to chase a few down, actually, feisty little sprouts."  
that got a chuckle in reply. "well, they're definitely my kids."  
"but they're all snug in their own pots now. There's much more research to be done on them in the coming weeks. all twelve of them." she said with a giggle.  
"ah jeez, is that why I feel like I'm gonna be walkin' funny for a week?"  
"well, not quite. there was one anomaly in the group, instead of germinating, the last seed....got bigger, from what I saw. hang on." the bed shifted as Ivy reached behind herself. Harley rolled over to look and was greeted with the sight of a few photographs on the tablet of...something. she squinted a bit before everything came back into focus onto what looked to be a grapefruit-sized crimson pearl, placed next to rulers for appropriate scaling and classification.  
"that....came outta...." she winced.  
"Yeah." she shrugged, pulling the device back close to her to tap out a few more notes. "The idea was that it's the flower's way of creating the next generation. the runners carry and protect the new seed until they find a good place to plant it, then it grows into another flower, to reproduce and start the cycle over again. it's fascinating, I ran simulations of it and did some practical tests using a few of two-face's lackeys when they wandered too close, but I never knew it would work so well with an optimal subject."  
"Yer a genius, Red."  
"well, what can I say, I had excellent assistance for the process."  
"gimme ten more minutes and I can come up with a few more processes I'd like to try out on you."  
"as long as we take notes on it."

**Author's Note:**

> had this kicking around for a while, the porno-pocalypse on Tumblr prompted me to get off my ass and finish it, kind of a monsterfucking last hurrah for the site.


End file.
